11 July 2009
09 July 2009
an addendum to the previous post
Good news: I love sleeping on my stomach again now that my belly is flat-ish. Good news: Simon only wakes up twice at night to eat.
Bad news: Matt and I have become people who talk mostly about boobs and poop. Mama even made up a song this morning about Daddy didy duty. I call diapers "didies" for some reason.
Bad news (for us): Daddy goes to Vermont tomorrow for 10 days. Good news: Grandad is coming down from Virginia tonight to meet Simon, hang out, and help with some house projects.
Good news: Uncle Keith and Aunt Marla are moving to Memphis this week.
Bad news: Our family dog back in Virginia is probably going to have to be put to sleep in the not-too-distant future. Simon and I had a big long cry yesterday when we found out. Simon didn't like to see Mama cry.
Bad news: Matt and I have become people who talk mostly about boobs and poop. Mama even made up a song this morning about Daddy didy duty. I call diapers "didies" for some reason.
Bad news (for us): Daddy goes to Vermont tomorrow for 10 days. Good news: Grandad is coming down from Virginia tonight to meet Simon, hang out, and help with some house projects.
Good news: Uncle Keith and Aunt Marla are moving to Memphis this week.
Bad news: Our family dog back in Virginia is probably going to have to be put to sleep in the not-too-distant future. Simon and I had a big long cry yesterday when we found out. Simon didn't like to see Mama cry.
the down and dirty
Childbirth is not what I expected. Everyone is different, of course, but I thought I'd share my experiences anyway, since being open is part of the purpose of my blog.
Induction with cervadil and the cervical balloon was less painful than I expected.
My contractions were much more painful than I expected. I very quickly shifted from bad menstrual cramps to feeling like my entire body was being ripped limb from limb. Thank goodness that they didn't administer pitocin until after my epidural. I can't even imagine how painful that would have been. I am very thankful that I had the epidural, although I was very resistant to the idea at first.
I could not sleep at the hospital. There was too much excitement going on. I would really have liked to stay for about a week. As it was, I could barely stand up from the bed when I was discharged, and I was beyond exhausted.
I expected to have a six week long period after childbirth. I don't know where I got that idea from, but it didn't happen. I had what was very much like a period for about a week. There were a few days that next week that I had a little bleeding immediately after trying to do too much, like lifting Simon with his carseat.
I was not expecting to have an episiotomy or tearing, and that was the most difficult part of the recovery from childbirth. It was very uncomfortable to feel stitches inside of me, especially once I ran out of the ice pack pads from the hospital--someone could make a fortune selling those in pharmacies! I was very uncomfortable with the stitches for about two weeks. I could feel the blood pooling in my swollen bottom and stitches whenever I was sitting up, which I was doing a lot of while pumping breastmilk, holding Simon, eating meals, visiting with people, etc. Lidocaine ointment and Dermoplast spray were very helpful, as was simply lying down or taking a tub bath or sitz bath.
I had a little back pain for a few days after leaving the hospital. This was supposedly a result of the epidural and was very minor compared to the contraction pain that the epidural took away.
Breastfeeding has been much more challenging than I expected. The absolute last thing I wanted was to shove my tender nipples into the snapping jaws of a crying baby right after pushing said baby out of my body. We never got the whole latching on thing down, so I have almost entirely been pumping breastmilk. That is so much less painful than nursing, even nursing with the nipple shield, and it really works for us for now. Of course, the feeling of having hard boobs full of milk is not entirely pleasant. Nor is leaking milk or the stinging nipples when the milk lets down, and pumping doesn't change that. But, it is for Simon! I try to stay one feeding ahead, especially at night, so that I can feed him a bottle at the same time as pumping his next bottle. I have gotten great at multitasking with the pump! We also occasionally give him a formula bottle if I have pumped myself dry and he refuses to nurse, even with the nipple shields. Formula feeding is so much easier, and I would totally do it if I didn't know all of the benefits of breastfeeding. I imagine we will have to shift towards a few formula bottles each day as I start to work, since as a teacher I can't just take a pumping break at will. I do feel guilty about that, but I feel good about the nutritional value of the organic Kroger brand formula with added DHA and ARA. It just doesn't smell or taste nearly as good as breastmilk, so I can see why Simon has a definite preference for breastmilk.
I thought the lack of intestinal movement during pregnancy was bad, but I didn't expect that it would be was worse immediately postpartum with stitches down there! That is all I will say.
Let's see. The only thing I really haven't talked about is the emotional recovery from childbirth. I definitely had some major hormonal mood swings for the first two weeks or so after the birth. It helped that I had so much help at home. But I was still easily upset by things like our broken microwave, cell phones, and car AC that first week. If I had not had my family here, I think I would have spent a lot of time crying in bed with the baby and a box of cereal. Being well fed alone made a big difference. And it helped that Simon is a good sleeper!
Motherhood is very hard emotionally, even after the hormonal mess has gone away. The ultimate goal and measure of success is that your child will grow up to be emotionally secure enough to leave you and create their own life. And there are plenty of things to worry about along the way. I already get teary when I think about how quickly Simon is growing up, and he is only a month old. At the same time, it is a relief to see him growing less fragile, and I am looking forward to his various milestones. Just this morning, I was fantasizing about taking Simon to Matt's San Diego work conference at age 3 or 4, going to the zoo, playing on the beach, napping in the afternoons...and then I wanted to cry about how he is about to grow out of his newborn clothes since he is almost ten pounds. Ah, the never ending contradictions of motherhood. I want to go to work (sort of), but I don't want to leave my son. I want Simon to grow up, but I want him to stay small and perhaps even get back inside my belly. I want to sleep, but sometimes I need to hold him and stare at him for another ten minutes before I can put him back in the bassinet in the middle of the night. Crazy!
Physically, though, I am feeling very good and mostly back to normal. Taking care of my own child is nothing like babysitting. I really don't get bored of doing not much all day, although it is nice to have visitors and nice to get out of the house sometimes. I love taking naps together! This is probably the last time I will ever get to nap so much until I am an old lady. :-)
I mostly look pretty thin again, with just a small tummy pooch that I kind of like. And much larger boobs than before, haha. I have no stretch marks, and I am mostly back into my old clothes, except that my hips are too big for my pants.
Induction with cervadil and the cervical balloon was less painful than I expected.
My contractions were much more painful than I expected. I very quickly shifted from bad menstrual cramps to feeling like my entire body was being ripped limb from limb. Thank goodness that they didn't administer pitocin until after my epidural. I can't even imagine how painful that would have been. I am very thankful that I had the epidural, although I was very resistant to the idea at first.
I could not sleep at the hospital. There was too much excitement going on. I would really have liked to stay for about a week. As it was, I could barely stand up from the bed when I was discharged, and I was beyond exhausted.
I expected to have a six week long period after childbirth. I don't know where I got that idea from, but it didn't happen. I had what was very much like a period for about a week. There were a few days that next week that I had a little bleeding immediately after trying to do too much, like lifting Simon with his carseat.
I was not expecting to have an episiotomy or tearing, and that was the most difficult part of the recovery from childbirth. It was very uncomfortable to feel stitches inside of me, especially once I ran out of the ice pack pads from the hospital--someone could make a fortune selling those in pharmacies! I was very uncomfortable with the stitches for about two weeks. I could feel the blood pooling in my swollen bottom and stitches whenever I was sitting up, which I was doing a lot of while pumping breastmilk, holding Simon, eating meals, visiting with people, etc. Lidocaine ointment and Dermoplast spray were very helpful, as was simply lying down or taking a tub bath or sitz bath.
I had a little back pain for a few days after leaving the hospital. This was supposedly a result of the epidural and was very minor compared to the contraction pain that the epidural took away.
Breastfeeding has been much more challenging than I expected. The absolute last thing I wanted was to shove my tender nipples into the snapping jaws of a crying baby right after pushing said baby out of my body. We never got the whole latching on thing down, so I have almost entirely been pumping breastmilk. That is so much less painful than nursing, even nursing with the nipple shield, and it really works for us for now. Of course, the feeling of having hard boobs full of milk is not entirely pleasant. Nor is leaking milk or the stinging nipples when the milk lets down, and pumping doesn't change that. But, it is for Simon! I try to stay one feeding ahead, especially at night, so that I can feed him a bottle at the same time as pumping his next bottle. I have gotten great at multitasking with the pump! We also occasionally give him a formula bottle if I have pumped myself dry and he refuses to nurse, even with the nipple shields. Formula feeding is so much easier, and I would totally do it if I didn't know all of the benefits of breastfeeding. I imagine we will have to shift towards a few formula bottles each day as I start to work, since as a teacher I can't just take a pumping break at will. I do feel guilty about that, but I feel good about the nutritional value of the organic Kroger brand formula with added DHA and ARA. It just doesn't smell or taste nearly as good as breastmilk, so I can see why Simon has a definite preference for breastmilk.
I thought the lack of intestinal movement during pregnancy was bad, but I didn't expect that it would be was worse immediately postpartum with stitches down there! That is all I will say.
Let's see. The only thing I really haven't talked about is the emotional recovery from childbirth. I definitely had some major hormonal mood swings for the first two weeks or so after the birth. It helped that I had so much help at home. But I was still easily upset by things like our broken microwave, cell phones, and car AC that first week. If I had not had my family here, I think I would have spent a lot of time crying in bed with the baby and a box of cereal. Being well fed alone made a big difference. And it helped that Simon is a good sleeper!
Motherhood is very hard emotionally, even after the hormonal mess has gone away. The ultimate goal and measure of success is that your child will grow up to be emotionally secure enough to leave you and create their own life. And there are plenty of things to worry about along the way. I already get teary when I think about how quickly Simon is growing up, and he is only a month old. At the same time, it is a relief to see him growing less fragile, and I am looking forward to his various milestones. Just this morning, I was fantasizing about taking Simon to Matt's San Diego work conference at age 3 or 4, going to the zoo, playing on the beach, napping in the afternoons...and then I wanted to cry about how he is about to grow out of his newborn clothes since he is almost ten pounds. Ah, the never ending contradictions of motherhood. I want to go to work (sort of), but I don't want to leave my son. I want Simon to grow up, but I want him to stay small and perhaps even get back inside my belly. I want to sleep, but sometimes I need to hold him and stare at him for another ten minutes before I can put him back in the bassinet in the middle of the night. Crazy!
Physically, though, I am feeling very good and mostly back to normal. Taking care of my own child is nothing like babysitting. I really don't get bored of doing not much all day, although it is nice to have visitors and nice to get out of the house sometimes. I love taking naps together! This is probably the last time I will ever get to nap so much until I am an old lady. :-)
I mostly look pretty thin again, with just a small tummy pooch that I kind of like. And much larger boobs than before, haha. I have no stretch marks, and I am mostly back into my old clothes, except that my hips are too big for my pants.
06 July 2009
four weeks old
Dear Simon,
Four weeks ago today, you were born. It seems in a lot of ways like you have always been here, though. My life before you doesn't seem fully real. On the other hand, life with you seems like a dream at times. You are such a mellow and sweet baby. We are all in love with you!
We had an exciting weekend. You had a few of Daddy's friends come to meet you. We met the baby boy of our neighbor friends who is just a little younger than you. There are so many new baby boys we know who will be your friends! We went to a neighborhood 4th of July party. We took you to church for the first time. (You were pretty antsy and hungry, and you made the loudest noises gulping your bottle. I was feeling very stressed about how loud you were, but several old ladies came up to us after church and told us how much they enjoyed listening to your little baby noises, so maybe I won't feel quite so anxious next week.) You met your Great Grandpa Bob, and we took some very cute pictures of your bonding time together. You have been a big hit with everyone you have met! Of course, Mama and Daddy love you most of all! Last night, we had a very cozy time together while you watched the DVD of "Marley and Me" with Daddy and I.
Today, you were much more wakeful than usual, and you were as hungry as a horse! I think you must be going through a growth spurt. You drank poor Mama dry, and you were so hungry that you actually guzzled a formula bottle with glee just now. Usually, formula is not something that you want to have anything to do with. We did manage to accomplish some things together today despite the lack of naps for either of us. We made iced tea, did some laundry, organized some papers in the study, and took our second car trip alone together. We opened a safety deposit box at the bank to keep your birth certificate and our other important papers. We also went to the post office to get a money order for my fingerprints for my job. It is going to be so very hard when I have to leave you at your school in another four weeks, but at least we know some of your friends in your class already. We had a nice pizza dinner tonight with Great Grandpa Bob, Grandma Elise, and Grandpa Steve (Pop?). We ordered the new six-cheese Tuscan pizza in addition to our usual green pepper and onion pizza. I thought the Tuscan pizza was delicious. We saw some baby pictures of Steve, and there is definitely a strong family resemblance there. Usually when I look at you, I am reminded of my dad and brother. So you look like both sides of the family! You are already growing up so fast and looking very different from when you were first born...we're almost done with newborn diapers and clothes and into size 1 diapers and 0-3 month clothes.
And speaking of family, we have some very exciting news. Your Uncle Keith and Aunt Marla are moving to Memphis this week, so they will be only three hours away from us. We are looking forward to having them come visit a lot. And I am starting to daydream about Saturday night camping trips we can take between here and there. Maybe we will take you camping sometime in the spring!
In just a few days, you will get to meet my dad, your Grandad, while Daddy goes up to Vermont. We will have a very fun visit. I am even thinking of taking both of you gentlemen to see the next Harry Potter movie.
The funniest moment today was when we got out of our nice bath and I had you wrapped in a towel on the bed. All of a sudden, you peed all over me, so I ended up back in the bath. Daddy got you dressed. He felt the bed, which was a little wet from your pee. I had just washed the bedspread today because it had milk and pee on it. Daddy sniffed it and said it didn't really smell like pee, so he didn't think we needed to wash it again. Oh how our standards of cleanliness have fallen, even though it seems like we are constantly doing laundry! Mama went to church on Sunday in a shirt that you had spit up all over, and she just wiped it off with a baby wipe before we left the house. Your pee and spit up just don't seem that gross to me. Your poop is another matter. It doesn't bother me to change you, but I would prefer not to be pooped on, in general.
Well, little man, Mama is in serious need of some sleep before we take you to get your picture taken first thing in the morning, but I just wanted to write this to tell you that I love you more every day, and I am looking forward to spending the next eighteen years together before you start to make your own way in the world. How fun it is and will be to see all of your milestones. You almost rolled over by yourself today! I'm so proud!
Love, Mama
Four weeks ago today, you were born. It seems in a lot of ways like you have always been here, though. My life before you doesn't seem fully real. On the other hand, life with you seems like a dream at times. You are such a mellow and sweet baby. We are all in love with you!
We had an exciting weekend. You had a few of Daddy's friends come to meet you. We met the baby boy of our neighbor friends who is just a little younger than you. There are so many new baby boys we know who will be your friends! We went to a neighborhood 4th of July party. We took you to church for the first time. (You were pretty antsy and hungry, and you made the loudest noises gulping your bottle. I was feeling very stressed about how loud you were, but several old ladies came up to us after church and told us how much they enjoyed listening to your little baby noises, so maybe I won't feel quite so anxious next week.) You met your Great Grandpa Bob, and we took some very cute pictures of your bonding time together. You have been a big hit with everyone you have met! Of course, Mama and Daddy love you most of all! Last night, we had a very cozy time together while you watched the DVD of "Marley and Me" with Daddy and I.
Today, you were much more wakeful than usual, and you were as hungry as a horse! I think you must be going through a growth spurt. You drank poor Mama dry, and you were so hungry that you actually guzzled a formula bottle with glee just now. Usually, formula is not something that you want to have anything to do with. We did manage to accomplish some things together today despite the lack of naps for either of us. We made iced tea, did some laundry, organized some papers in the study, and took our second car trip alone together. We opened a safety deposit box at the bank to keep your birth certificate and our other important papers. We also went to the post office to get a money order for my fingerprints for my job. It is going to be so very hard when I have to leave you at your school in another four weeks, but at least we know some of your friends in your class already. We had a nice pizza dinner tonight with Great Grandpa Bob, Grandma Elise, and Grandpa Steve (Pop?). We ordered the new six-cheese Tuscan pizza in addition to our usual green pepper and onion pizza. I thought the Tuscan pizza was delicious. We saw some baby pictures of Steve, and there is definitely a strong family resemblance there. Usually when I look at you, I am reminded of my dad and brother. So you look like both sides of the family! You are already growing up so fast and looking very different from when you were first born...we're almost done with newborn diapers and clothes and into size 1 diapers and 0-3 month clothes.
And speaking of family, we have some very exciting news. Your Uncle Keith and Aunt Marla are moving to Memphis this week, so they will be only three hours away from us. We are looking forward to having them come visit a lot. And I am starting to daydream about Saturday night camping trips we can take between here and there. Maybe we will take you camping sometime in the spring!
In just a few days, you will get to meet my dad, your Grandad, while Daddy goes up to Vermont. We will have a very fun visit. I am even thinking of taking both of you gentlemen to see the next Harry Potter movie.
The funniest moment today was when we got out of our nice bath and I had you wrapped in a towel on the bed. All of a sudden, you peed all over me, so I ended up back in the bath. Daddy got you dressed. He felt the bed, which was a little wet from your pee. I had just washed the bedspread today because it had milk and pee on it. Daddy sniffed it and said it didn't really smell like pee, so he didn't think we needed to wash it again. Oh how our standards of cleanliness have fallen, even though it seems like we are constantly doing laundry! Mama went to church on Sunday in a shirt that you had spit up all over, and she just wiped it off with a baby wipe before we left the house. Your pee and spit up just don't seem that gross to me. Your poop is another matter. It doesn't bother me to change you, but I would prefer not to be pooped on, in general.
Well, little man, Mama is in serious need of some sleep before we take you to get your picture taken first thing in the morning, but I just wanted to write this to tell you that I love you more every day, and I am looking forward to spending the next eighteen years together before you start to make your own way in the world. How fun it is and will be to see all of your milestones. You almost rolled over by yourself today! I'm so proud!
Love, Mama
05 July 2009
children's music
Simon really seems to enjoy listening to music, so we have CDs playing frequently. Of course, we only have 6 or 7 children's music CDs, so a few are already starting to get pretty old! Currently, we're listening to Susie Tallman's Children's Songs for the first time, and we like it a lot. While I pump this bottle for church, I thought I'd poke around Amazon for other music to try. Here are some that caught my eye (in no particular order):
1. Smithsonian Folkways Children's Music Collection
2. Mediterranean Lullaby
3. Guitar Lullaby
4. For the Kids
5. Rockabye Baby! More Lullaby Renditions of the Beatles (we have and like the first one)
6. Singable Songs for the Very Young (Raffi)
7. Sing-A-Longs and Lullabies for the Film Curious George (Jack Johnson)
8. Dear God: 50 Sunday School Songs for Children
Readers, what children's music CDs are your all-time favorites?
1. Smithsonian Folkways Children's Music Collection
2. Mediterranean Lullaby
3. Guitar Lullaby
4. For the Kids
5. Rockabye Baby! More Lullaby Renditions of the Beatles (we have and like the first one)
6. Singable Songs for the Very Young (Raffi)
7. Sing-A-Longs and Lullabies for the Film Curious George (Jack Johnson)
8. Dear God: 50 Sunday School Songs for Children
Readers, what children's music CDs are your all-time favorites?
04 July 2009
happy fourth!
As we were in the hospital with Simon following his birth, I was thinking about all of the babies being born at the same time in the midst of violence in Iran, and amidst violence and poverty all over the world. In my very hormonal state, I cried for those babies who will know hunger and fear so early in their lives. Simon is really blessed to have been born an American citizen. He lives in a country where he really can follow his dreams. His mama and daddy are not crazy to dream about his future as a doctor or a minister or a primateologist or a professor or a chef or a botanist or a composer or an inventor or even a president of the United States (although Simon's mama would rather he not go into politics).
03 July 2009
lots of things
Last night, we had Nehemiah visit, who we had not seen since February 2004, when we went to New York City for the coldest Valentine's Day ever. It was fun to catch up! Simon was his adorable self as usual.
I've been having an upset stomach for a few days, and I think I have figured it out...I have been eating a TON of fruit on an empty stomach because I have been having distressingly little intestinal action since Simon's birth. So I think I am having some stomach acid issues. The upset stomach started two days ago when I ate homemade peach blueberry pie and a glass of orange juice and some strawberries for breakfast. Talk about acid! You're right, Nickie, I need to bring the Cheerios box back by the bedside. I'm often not eating from dinner time until at least midmorning, and that is surely not helping the acid either.
Today was a day of much breastfeeding and some upset baby moments because the poor little man has an infected tear duct! I drove him BY MYSELF for the FIRST TIME to pick up his FIRST PRESCRIPTION at the pharmacy two blocks away. I nearly had a coronary each time I went over a bump in the road.
Simon was actually awake a lot today, so I only just now took a shower (yeah, ew) and started some laundry.
We had a fun lunchtime visit with Nickie, and Katherine stopped by with a book for Simon just a while ago.
I'm feeling sad today about having to start work in a little over a month. Where did June go? In order to cheer myself up, I decided to think about some more books I want for my classroom library, so here is my current classroom book wish list:
(in no particular order)
1. Barack Obama: Our 44th President by Beatrice Gormley
2. The Exploding Toilet: Modern Urban Legends by David Holt
3. Ghosts! Personal Accounts of Modern Mississippi Hauntings by Sylvia Booth Hubbard
4. Three Cups of Tea (young readers edition)by Greg Mortenson
5. Poetry Comics: An Animated Anthology by Dave Morice
6. Persepolis by Marjane Satrapi
7. The New 50 Simple Things Kids Can Do to Save the Earth
8. Material World: a Global Family Portrait by Peter Menzel
9. The Graveyard Book by Neil Gaiman
10. Is a Post Secret book too advanced or inappropriate for 8th graders?
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